Good News . . . I don't expire until 2010!

Today was my second attempt to get my military ID renewed, and I'm happy to report that I was successful. It only took me 1 hour and 10 minutes, but I'm good to go until 2010. This time I arrived at 12:15, signed the clipboard,took a seat in the breakroom and waited for my name to be called. Like before, I sat there while people buzzed around me and smiled, but no one ever says "have you been helped?" I guess everyone just assumes everyone is doing their job. This time, I waited 20 minutes before I walked to the door and asked "how long it would be". The guy said "it depends on how many people are ahead of you". Well, there were 3 others ahead of me on the list and the last one signed in 30 minutes ahead of me, and they were still waiting. Hum, not a good sign. I told the guy that I was on my lunch hour and just needed to know about how long it would take. He said "about 30 minutes because the computers were really slow". I don't suppose the operator has anything to do with that. It appears that the attitude is why hurry? that just means I have to do more work. I was finally called in at 12:50 and the guy apologized for the delay. SgtDub had to execute a Power of Attorney so I can file our taxes, and I apparently had to have one today for the ID. I waited for just the right moment to whip it out - he didn't think I had the "proper paperwork", but I fooled him (he he). Apparently with all the new Homeland Security changes, they have to be really cautious about issuing ID cards. The guy verifies all of my information, takes my picture and makes the card. He hands it to me, and I say "when does this one expire?" Oh look, Feb. 27, 2007 -- just like the one I just gave you. Duh! Another 15 minutes, and I'm the proud owner of a plain old ID card. No longer the fancy "active duty" card with all the privileges (not that I use them anyway). Apparently, Dub's MOB date (mobilization) is February, so they're standing firm that he's not active duty after tomorrow. Well see -- I'll bet he's still there and will be for a few more months. SgtDub will be happy to know that I did not make a scene and did not have to be escorted from the building. I exited the parking lot in the right direction and wiggled my way out of the gate. Hopefully, I won't have to do that again anytime soon.

Why I don't play well with others

Today was the day that I finally broke down and went to the Oklahoma Military Department (OMD) to get my military ID renewed (it expires on 2/27, so I've waited as long as possible). I've gotten one before, so I just "assumed" it would be the same procedure, and I would be in and out in no time. Wrong! Why would I ever assume that anything involving the military would go smoothly? Did I mention that I don't cooperate with the whole "military" thing? From the first day SgtDub joined the guard, I was less than excited and didn't care to "participate" in anything they had to offer. I refused to go to the Commissary, I refused to attend the annual picnic, and I won't even think about having to use the medical facility. I don't like the thought of having to show my ID, stand in line, wait for my number to be called and then referred to as "the dependent". Excuse me, but I am NOT dependent. Well, today went like this. I'm nervous enough when I get to the gate - actually I'm dizzy from winding through the barricades. I show the guy my ID and he gives me the once over and lets me pass. I get to the building and go to the counter and wait for the guy to acknowledge that I'm standing there. He tells me go on back and I take off. I'm feeling like an outsider because I'm not in uniform and everyone is looking at me. I proceed to the room where I'm supposed to go, only to find no one in there. The lights are on, but no one was home. There also was no clipboard for me to sign in on (red flag somethings wrong). I pace around a few minutes before I decide to sit down in the break room across the hall and grab a magazine. I'm fanning myself with my almost expired military ID, hoping someone will notice me. I wait, wait a little longer and then a little longer and finally a lady walks by and says "Ma am are you here to get a temporary ID?" I said "No, I'm just here to renew it". Apparently, when I was issued my last ID the guy issued it for 11 months based on the fact that SgtDub deployed in February 2006 -- irregardless to the fact that he wasn't anticipated to return until June. I tried to argue back then, but the guy just issued the card and sent me on my merry little way. Luckily, since I don't do the commissary thing or the Tri-Care thing, I don't have to use my ID on a regular basis. I only need it to get on base. We went to the Commissary once and my ID had expired a few days earlier. I tried getting past the old lady at the door, but from 4 feet away, she spotted it and confiscated it! Talk about embarrassing! Okay, back to my story ... the conversation went like this: lady: "do you have your sponsor with you?", MrsDub: "no, he's in Afghanistan", lady: "do you have power of attorney?" MrsDub: "no", lady: "do you have proper documentation?", MrsDub: "no, I just want to renew the card", lady: "I'm sorry Maam, but without your sponsor, power of attorney, form 1040WD405ASAP (in triplicate, signed by the President) (okay I'm exaggerating now), I can't give you an ID", MrsDub: no words, just foot tapping, getting red in the face and thinking to myself "I have connections". I get up to leave and slam the door on my way out. Once in the parking lot, I whip out and realize I'm going the wrong way, so I turn around and go the other way (another rule I don't like to follow). I get dizzy again leaving - why do they have the curvy thing on the way out? I'm now back at work and calmed down. I've placed a call to my "friend" and will find out what I have to do to take care of this. In the meantime, my ID expires next week. According to the military, SgtDub should be home by then, so Dub, if you're reading this, I'll be at the airport on Tuesday to pick you up - because we all know the military is NEVER wrong!

"The Husband Store" . . . Glad I Got a Good One!

Yet another email that was sent to me. I'm so lazy that I can't even come up with my own material. I hope you enjoy this one.

"The Husband Store"

The store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where A woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of How the store operates:

WELCOME TO THE HUSBAND STORE!!
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however,a catch... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may chooseto go up one more floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

Happy Shopping!!!!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband... On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1: These men have jobs and love the Lord.The second floor sign reads: Floor 2:These men have jobs, love the Lord, and like kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3:These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4:These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework."Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and it reads: Floor 5: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth! If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence... you can rest assured the water bill is higher there too!

Teenaged Daugther . . .

My mom just sent me this email, and I had to share it. It is so true!! My daughter woke me up at 3:00 am the other night while she and her friend were playing make-up. This is payback!

Congratulations! You are now the proud new owner of a teenaged daughter. Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the maintenance of your new daughter, and answers important questions about your warranty (which does NOT include the right to return the product to the factory for a full refund).

IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR: To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenaged girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. Does she (a) look very similar to your original daughter, only with more makeup and less clothing? (b) refuse to acknowledge your existence on the planet Earth (except when requesting money)? (c) sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry? If any of these are true, you have received the correct item. Nice try, though.

BREAK-IN PERIOD: When you first receive your teenaged daughter, you will initially experience a high level of discomfort. Gradually, this discomfort will subside, and you will merely feel traumatized. This is the "Break-In Period," during which you are becoming accustomed to certain behaviors that will cause you concern, anxiety, and stress. Once you have adapted to these behaviors, your teenager will start acting even worse.

ACTIVATION: To activate your teenaged daughter, simply place her in the vicinity of a telephone. No further programming is required.

SHUTDOWN: Several hours after activation, you may desire to shut down your teenaged daughter. There is no way to do this.

CLEANING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER: Having a teenaged daughter means learning the difference between the words "clean" and "neat." Teenaged daughters are very clean, because they take frequent showers that last more than an hour. They will scrub themselves with expensive, fragrant soaps which you must purchase for them because like I'm sure I'm going to
> use like the same kind of soap my mom and dad use. When they have completely drained the hot-water tank, they will step out and wrap themselves in every towel in the bathroom, which they will subsequently strew throughout the house. If you ask them to pick up the towels, you are confusing "clean" with "neat." Teenagers are very busy and do not have time to be neat. They expect others to pick up after them. These others are called "parents."

FEEDING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER: Your teenaged daughter requires regular meals, which must be purchased for her at restaurants because she detests everything you eat because
> it is like so disgusting. She does not want you to accompany her to these restaurants, because some people might see you and like I'm sure I want my friends to see me eating dinner with my parents. Either order take-out food or just give her the money, preferably both. If you order pizza, never answer the doorbell because the delivery boy might see you and ohmigod he is so hot. Yes, your daughter's idea of an attractive man is the pizza boy.

CLOTHING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER: Retailers make millions of dollars a year selling stylish and frankly sensible clothing which will look adorable on your daughter. If you enjoy shopping, you will love the vast selections which are available to you. Unfortunately, your teenaged daughter wants to dress like a lap dancer. You may be able to coerce her into putting on a cute outfit before leaving the house, but by the time she walks in the schoolhouse door, she will be wearing something entirely different.

OTHER MAINTENANCE: Teenaged daughters require one of two levels of maintenance: "High," and "Ultra High." Your daughter is "Ultra High." This means that whatever you do won't be enough and whatever you try won't work.

WARRANTY: This product is not without defect because she has your genes, for heaven's sake. If you think this is not fair, talk to your parents, who think it is hilarious. Your teenaged daughter will remain a teenager for as long as it takes for her to become a woman, which in her opinion has already happened and as far as you are concerned never really will. If you are dissatisfied with your teenaged daughter, well, what did you expect? In any event, your warranty does not give you your little girl back under any circumstances, except that deep down she's actually still there -- you just have to look for her

Every Day Should Be Valentine's!

Imagine a world where every day was Valentine's Day! A world where everyone wore their best clothes, gave chocolate, cards and flowers and said "I love you". I'm thinking back to my first memories of Valentine's Day. I remember using red construction paper and heart doilies to make a card for my parents. I remember getting a box of heart shaped chocolates from my Dad. In school, we would have a party in the classroom and everyone would get a white paper sack covered in hearts. We would then go around giving each other cards. I also remember the disappointment in middle school when the student council would sell carnations for .25 cents. They would come around to each classroom to deliver the flowers. It seemed like all the popular people got tons of flowers while others got nothing (a glimpse of life ahead). I remember a Valentine's Day that I received an 8 foot heart made of lattice, filled with balloons. I remember a Valentine's Day when my brother-in-law and sister-in-law got married, and I remember many Valentine's that I didn't get anything. But, the best Valentine that I've ever had arrived on September 6, 2007. This is the day SgtDub managed to sneak home and surprise me with a 2 week pass. How in the world did he manage to pull it off without anyone knowing what he was up to? To this day, I am amazed that he was able to keep it from me. Many of you already know this story, but for those of you who don't, I will recap. My birthday was August 31st and SgtDub had told me "my gift was on its way and would be arriving soon". I just assumed it was going to arrive in the mail. Lesson learned - never assume. Needless to say, my birthday came and went and there was nothing in the mail. I rushed home each day, hoping to find a box on the porch. Labor Day came and went, and there was still no present. I was officially bummed out. I returned to work following the holiday weekend, and had gone out to lunch with my best friend Joyce. We were on our way back to the office, when Joyce got a call saying that we really needed to hurry up. I never suspected what happened next. The lady at the front desk said "you're package has arrived from Afghanistan", and I again assumed it was a box. To my surprise and amazement (with everyone in my office watching), I rounded the corner to find SgtDub sitting at the security desk, in his cute BDUs and grinning from ear-to-ear. I stopped dead in my tracks and just looked at him. I think I uttered "what are you doing here?" and then ran to jump into his arms. Wow, one minute I'm having lunch and complaining because he didn't send me anything for my birthday, and then the next minute I'm holding him in my arms. I will always remember that day! I've been blessed with a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter, and therefore every day is special to me! Happy Valentine's Day to everyone - whether you're spending it alone or with someone special - know that You're Loved and You're Special x0x0x0x0 Love, Hugs & Kisses

National Salute to Hospitalized Veterans Week, February 11-17, 2007

When was the last time you thanked a Veteran for their service? Here's your chance, the 29th Annual Naional Salute to Hospitalized Veterans Week will be held February 11-17, 2007 at all VA Medical Centers Across the Nation. Visit http://www1.va.gov/volunteer/nshv.cfm to learn more.

The purpose of the National Salute to Hospitalized Veterans Program is to:
pay tribute and express appreciation to hospitalized veterans;
increase community awareness of the role of the VA medical center;
encourage citizens to visit hospitalized veterans and to become involved as volunteers

The week of February 14 each year is your opportunity to say thank you to a special group of men and women, more than 98,000 veterans of the U.S. armed services who are cared for every day in Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) medical centers, outpatient clinics, domiciliaries, and nursing homes. There is a link at the bottom of the website to help you find a VA Medical Center in your area.

God Bless America and God Bless Veterans . . . without them, we wouldn't be here today!